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Just got back from a trip down to London to see my Mum, and to pick up some of my Dad’s old furniture. While I was there, I also collected all my old school reports that my Mum had been hoarding all these years, and they make for very interesting reading.

My favourites are the Art reports. Art is really not a strong point of mine, but we had to do it at school, and bless the socks of my old art teacher for being so creative in her reports:
He works with enthusiasm and his drawings show feeling though he runs into technical difficulties from time to time
James works conscientiously and tries hard
James’ drawing is not of a high standard, but he is always an interested pupil and works hard.“.
James tries hard in a subject where his ability is limited” (she must have reached the end of her tether at this point!)

The ‘Fall-on-the-floor-in-shock’ report was the following:
Excellent term. He enjoys the subject very much and shows great enthusiasm in class. A pleasure to teach him…
… for French!! I think actually remember this French teacher – she was gorgeous and chic in the way only French ladies can be, and she was an inspired teacher; she brought in Joe le Taxi (Venessa Paradis) and Voyage Voyage (Desireless), and gave us transcripts of the songs with words missing, which we had to fill in. This was the time said songs were in the chart, so I guess they were a gift to French teachers everywhere, but still credit where it’s due.

An just so nobody thinks I’m a total swot:
His classwork has been chaotic this term” (Scripture)
His work can be quite good, but it is such an effort to get it out of him!” (Music)
He has wasted some time by silly behaviour at the back of class thinking he is unobserved!” (Geography)

Must remember not to let Ben see these, otherwise it’ll be “but Daddy messed around in class…”

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